Sunday, August 29, 2004

Why Olympic Tae Kwan Do Sucks Ass...

Tucker Maddox
Endless back and forth and up and down rocking as fighters attempt to
find a weakness.

Instead of throwing a punch, which scores 1 point, fighters are content
with hugging when space gets tight.

Homo-yelling: YAHHHHHHHH!!!! KEAAAAAAAA!!! HOOOOOOWAAAAHHHH...

After scoring a point, fighters scream a Homo-yell, and then stop
fighting.
Here's a typical match: fighters bow->the official starts the
fight->rocking...rocking...stance switch...rocking...rocking...fake
kick...rocking...real kick...stance
switch...rocking...rocking...hug...real kick*connects*->homo
yell->continue rocking...basically that's how the last 4 fights I've
seen have gone. Give or take a hug or ten. Why is this an Olympic sport?
Its as exciting to watch as a 3-toed sloth race. NOTE* if you
participate in Tae Kwan Do, you will lose quickly to my capoeira...Bring
it.