Sunday, July 11, 2004

"Fuck You Bitch", and Kept Goin'...

Tucker Maddox
I must have "I'm 6'3 225lbs and strong, but I'm a pussy" written in bold black letters on my forehead. Every time I go to a party some punk pussy ass chump wants to fight me, somebody explain this one. Friday's party was the first party of the weekend and it ended with a bang. Note, not much happened during the party at all that's why I'm only highlighting the end of it. Some girl *note hideous wench* was standing in front of me blabbing away. You've probably seen this girl around, you know tennis skirt, tight fitting shirt, trucker hat, and blonde frosted hair...you know. First of all don't step on my damn toes, and if you're gonna step on my toes twice, make sure you're not wearing a skirt. So after the second time she stepped on my shoes I decided to treat myself to some upskirt and laugh with the fellas. I pulled her skirt up and held it high for all to see, pity she wasn't wearing any underwear...The first time I did it she never noticed and I held it like that for about 2 minutes. The second time I got more bold about it and held the skirt up as high as it would go, guess she felt the tug cuz she turned around and said something. At this point I was down 7 beers or so, so what she was saying really wasn't important at all. Well I guess she got mad that I really wasn't listening so she hits me in the chest. Best way to describe the pain: Drop a tissue from about 6 feet high on your chest, not a box of tissues but one single tissue. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! So said girl decides since she's too damn puny to do anything she'll go get her boyfriend. Oh no watch out...Aberfuckface & Bitch guy gonna whoop my ass now...She pointed me out and I stared as he took one look at me and then looked away and they both left the party. What guy, who's not pussy, is going to let someone see their girlfriend's goodies at a party, and not go say anything? Ah well I guess when you see TuckerMaddox doin' it, it's ok. Saturday's party was twice as fun, this time I thought I was going to get to destroy someone. It all started when DDW had us follow these girls to a party way up on the North East side of town. A buncha Ritch Bitch Crackers if ya catch my drift...*yes i know its rich, its a pun dammit* We get up there and there's a total of 7 guys and 4 girls. Great party...It turns out 3 of the girls are there with their boyfriends so that left us with one girl between 4 guys. So the tension was in the air and when you have 4 drunk guys and one drunk ass girl, there's a lot of pushing and shoving. But see...TuckerMaddox wasn't into this troll so I decided to talk shit and make the night interesting. One of the girls, we'll call her Wanda Slapdafuckouttaher, called her boyfriend a bitch because he did everything she told him to. *In your best Valley Girl/Pet Detective/Keanu Reeves voice* "Oh hell no you didn't call me no fucking bitch", at which point I looked him square in the eyes and said "Yes, she called your lil' bitch ass a bitch". He asks me after clearly hearing me call him a bitch to his face if that was indeed what I called him. So I looked at him again and said "yeah bitch that's what I'm calling you". Hesitation... ... ... *Should I get in this big dude's face and tell him not to call me a bitch?*.... *What if he destroys me, I mean, I'm pretty gay and he's a lot bigger than me...*Fuck I know I should have taken that E, maybe this ass whoopin wouldn't be so bad*... 2 whole minutes pass without him saying a word to me but staring at me intently the whole time. What did he end up saying to me before the night was up??? Not a damn thang...As we're walking to our cars in the parking lot, I turned and said "Fuck you bitch" and kept goin...still I heard nothing.