Thursday, June 17, 2004

Women are irritating as hell.

Tucker Maddox
New Fox special: When irritating women unite. Lately I'm finding myself completely surrounded by irritating women. Not your everyday nagging hag, you know the ones: "why didn't you [insert unimportant activity/previous request here] yesterday?", but those who literally take a cheese grater to chalkboard in your ear. These women may or may not be someone you know, may not even be asking you for something, or even talking to you. They may just be some random woman out in the community that shreds your patience. This morning I went to Walmart at 3am to get my nightly fix of chocolate milk and cookies. I get my delightful delicacies and proceed to the checkout lanes. To my "surprise" there's only one lane open and its the last one on the end. No biggie cuz I'm happy now that I have my goodies, and then she appeared...The wench from down below, who apparently hadn't been shopping in weeks, decided this was the perfect chance to stock up on supplies.
When I looked at what she was buying I felt my blood getting hotter; just a small list of some of her items: Preparation H, Totino's Pizzas (6-7), assorted candy bars, shower caps (4), several clothing items *who the fuck buys clothes from walmart?*, and finally 6 gallons of milk. 6 damn gallons of milk???? Who the hell needs 6 gallons of milk at 3am. So anyways, I let it all go once the 40th or 50th item had been scanned and eagerly awaited my turn to be rung up. Then she did the unthinkable; she whipped out the checkbook...Son of a bitch...Her total was 69.74 and the most expensive item was no more than 10 bucks so my patience was wearing thin already. But then noticed the cashiers name tag, "trainee". Dammit I'm battin a thousand here...It took the trainee cashier 8 separate requests to see the ladies' drivers license. 8 separate times the lady in front takes the license out of her purse, shows the cashier, gets it back, and puts it away. She's trying to fill out the check to pay for her truckful of shit, and she's being bombarded by DL requests. The cashier, feeling flustered and nervous, finally resigns and asks another attendant to open a register after helping her. After wasting 20 mins of my time. My conclusion: Women are more irritating than pouring Tabasco sauce into my ass.